Sexual fantasies are a normal part of our human experience. Whether you’re daydreaming about a threesome while bored at work or imagining yourself spanking your partner, sexual fantasies can be exciting and fun.
But how do you bring your fantasies to reality? Here are some tips: 1. Talk about it in a low-pressure environment.
1. Be open and honest about your fantasies
All of us fantasize, whether it’s daydreaming about a tropical getaway or imagining a sexual thrill. But when you want to take that fantasy out of your head and into reality, it’s important to do it safely.
First and foremost, you need to be open and honest about your fantasies. That doesn’t mean you have to reveal everything all at once – it’s fine to choose a few to share and work your way up to more.
Once you’re in a safe place to explore your fantasies, it’s important to communicate about them with your partner(s). Make sure you and your partner are on the same page. That can be done through dirty talk, role-playing, or a more detailed conversation about your sexual fantasies. And of course, all fantasies must be consensual and respectful of your partners’ needs. You should never force your partner to act out a fantasy that doesn’t turn them on.
2. Break it down into manageable steps
Sometimes a fantasy can seem overwhelming. There are many different aspects to the scenario and if it’s not something you’ve done in your real life, it can be hard to imagine how to bring it out into reality.
If you’re a couple, it’s important to break down your fantasies into manageable steps. This allows you and your partner to talk through the details, build anticipation, and figure out how it will play out.
It also helps to have a conversation about which aspects of your sexual fantasies are safe to play out in real life and which should be left alone. If the line between your fantasies and reality begins to blur, it’s a good idea to talk to a therapist or counselor about how to handle it.
If you need help talking through your fantasies, try filling out this quick, anonymous questionnaire to get matched with a therapist online in just 48 hours! They’ll be able to talk with you about your sexual desires, fears, and hopes in a safe, supportive way.
3. Bring it up in a low-pressure environment
Experts agree that bringing your fantasies to reality can be an enlightening and intimate experience — as long as it’s safe, legal, and consensual. But, they also warn that this isn’t a decision to be taken lightly.
Ideally, it should be discussed in an environment where you can both relax and open up. This could be a conversation over dinner, or even a casual text.
If you’re unsure how to bring up the topic, experts recommend sharing a less-adventurous fantasy first, like a movie character who’s larger than your partner. This will give you a chance to practice your communication skills in a low-pressure situation. Additionally, it will help you determine whether your fantasy is something that you want to explore. If not, it may be time to consider other ways of spicing up your sex life.
4. Make it fun
We all fantasize, and the type of kinky fantasies we imagine can tell us a lot about ourselves. Sexual fantasies can also be a way for folx to explore their sexuality, gender identity and presentation and sexy up their bedroom play.
But when it comes to bringing our fantasies to reality, it can be tricky to transition from the imagination to actually following through. Especially in a romantic relationship, it’s important to make sure that if you want to bring a certain fantasy into your bedroom, you and your sweetie are ready for it.
When you broach the topic with your partner, try to make it fun. “Playing around with new erotic ideas in the privacy of your bedroom can be very enjoyable and can even lead to a more fulfilling sex life,” Dr. Queen says. Just remember to keep it safe, legal and consensual.